Psychological Phone Murder (multi-parter)

Ring, Ring!' The girl cringes with a grim look of uneasiness as she turns, the close-up of the ringing telephone giving off an ominous vibe as if it were alive. Or worse, she picks up the receiver only to realize that the killer has severed the phone lines.The telephone has played a pivotal role in the formulaic structure of the modern day slasher movie and has helped create its own sub-genre that I like to call 'Psychological Phone Murder'. It's not a very elegant title, but it fits nicely when you think that some of the best slasher films to date somehow revolve around the telephone. Theodore Gershuny's 1974 Canadian sleeper Silent Night Bloody Night deals with an escaped mental patient who travels back to his old abode and uses his telephone to lure unsuspecting victims to the house so he can kill them. Silent Night Bloody Night uses some very dark themes, which are etched forever on a very bad print which somehow elevates the mood of the story. The old grainy and washed out look in a lot of cases can boost the atmosphere of the film, somehow adding an extra layer of tension that otherwise wouldn't have been present on a pristine copy. SNBN is probably one of the most depressing films I have ever seen. In this case, it's supposed to be. There's a great deal of hopelessness that emits from the screen and almost sucks the viewer in. This little film has never gotten the credit it deserves. Surprisingly, the majority of its fans also prefer the grain as opposed to an actual good copy of the film. As for the telephone laden killer: He's one creepy fuck. He uses a very subtle voice, almost humble in his tone, but underneath, you can almost hear the sudden burst of madness just ready to be unleashed upon his victims. Silent Night Bloody Nightwas actually filmed in 1972, but not released until the same year as one of the most predominant telephone laden slashers. It's safe to say (but rarely acknowledged that Silent Night Bloody Night did the phone call trick a few years before Bob Clark's Canadian classic.) The most revered of all 'Psychological Phone Murder' slashers (especially by old school fans) was also released in 1974. As I mentioned SNBNwas released a few years before Black Christmas, sitting on the sidelines before someone picked it up. Bob Clark's Black Christmassimply exploited the telephone for everything it was worth which added an extra bit of oomph to the film, but was not experienced by too many people because of its short time at the box office. Black Christmas is probably more popular today then it was 35 years ago. Black Christmas revolves around a sorority house during the holiday season that's being bombarded with obscene phone calls where the girls have finally traded their annoyance in for fear. The killer calls randomly, speaking in distorted and grotesque voices while using perverted language as the girls listen in shock. One of the girls swears it couldn't be just one man since the voices were so altered. The caller is truly scary. Some of the things he says and the demonic way he says them will really make your skin crawl. The phone calls persist throughout the film becoming more disturbing and more revealing as the running time goes on. The backstory involves Jessica - a stern independent college co-ed who ends up pregnant and wants an abortion. Her boyfriend Peter is dead set against it and begins to behave very strangely. At some point in the film, we get the inkling that the phone calls could be coming from non-other than Peter himself. The police finally get involved in the case, trying in vain many times to trace the phone calls. Finally, the telephone company gets a line on the trace and one of the biggest twists in horror cinema history was born. To me, the creepiest thing about the film is not knowing that someone had been in the house the whole time, but at the very end, when Jessica is in bed from shock and exhaustion, and the police are finishing up their case work, over the opening credits and a back-away shot from the sorority house, the telephone rings again. It rings against a silent track, barely audible, but ever so disturbing. Was the killer actually dead? That question was never answered and it makes Black Christmas one of the creepiest flicks of all time. 

Hang in there! Part two is coming up shortly!

Don't Go Down To The Woods Today....

As is probably known to anyone who knows my cinematic tastes, they know full well that the snowbound and back woods slasher film are my personal favorite sub-genres. What I've come to realize is that most backwoods slashers are basically the same: You have the same basic structure - the formulaic teens in the woods trying to overcome a night of terror as some unknown (usually deformed when it comes to backwoods slashers) maniac slashes his way through friends a'many. There's basically two types of woods goers in the modern day slasher film. There's your true outdoors-men ala the characters from the 1983 second tier slasher The Final Terror - The whole crew basically makes a living from working in the woods. It's not necessarily clear what their job duties entail, but it's obvious that most of the crew are right at home in the woods. There's also your campers from 1981'sJust Before Dawn that deal with an excited group of mountain hikers and rock climbers who enjoy nothing more than flaunting through nature on a natural high.There's definitely a buzz kill when a large grizzly man cuts through our happy woods goers like a hot knife through warm butter.

On the other hand, you have your naive, sometimes reluctant venture's into the woods who had obviously rather be somewhere else. The character Alfred from 1981's The Burning comes to mind. Here's a kid ( a strange kid at that) who can't swim, sucks at outdoors type functions and simply dislikes his woody surroundings. Gail from 1984's Mutual of Omaha production The Prey, also rings a bell. Although all of her friends are quite comfortable in the woods, she must be afraid there's going to be a horny chipmunk who's going to see her in her 'caked-on-rouge glory' in the dead of night... Your basic city dweller who's very un-at-home in the woods, especially at night. There's usually at least one prissy type along for the camping trip.

Another formula involved in the early 80's backwoods slasher is the motive. When I say motive I've learned that the motive can be a number of things, so I use the term loosely. The deformed killer simply may not have any morals that could or would detour him from committing murderous and depraved acts. Maybe he/she grew up in the woods all alone and was forced to live off the land without parental supervision. This can be classified under 'desperation murder'. Most backwoods slasher films deal with 'desperation murder', which on it's own, is almost another whole sub-genre. A series of 'desperation murders' can be seen in 1982's,Humongous - A groub of Scooby Doo-esque youths get trapped on an island with a deformed hulk who's incidentally starving. The killer is in desperate need of food and the youths are easy access. One thing I've learned involving the backwoods slasher flick is that the killers are non-discriminatory when it comes to meat.

Maybe the killer(s) fear their way of life may become influenced by outsiders as is made evident by Pa in 1987's Canadian backwoods crazy-family-in-the-woods flick American Gothic. A strange religious family lives on an island without modern amenities. No running water. No electricity. They feel as if modern day technology would only contaminate their family which consists of Ma and Pa and their forty year old 'children' - and anyone threatening their way of life - or who simply do not agree with their lifestyle - are fair game in the murder realm. This could also be classified under 'desperation murder' as in the killer(s) feel they have to eliminate a threat. This can also be seen in 1981's The Final Terror. A deranged mental facility escapee is living in the woods and has adapted quite well to her woodsy surroundings. Her son sees after her and keeps hid the fact that his mother is a deranged psycho who'll kill anyone who threatens her exposure. The pair do everything they can to detour people away from Mill Creek where the son's mother makes her home. The murders committed by the deranged mother is also a 'desperation murder' scenario.

The motive can be way out there, I'm telling ya! In 1984's obscurity entitled Satan's Blade we start off with a bank robbery gone awry when greed steps in the way. Not only this, but the end motive is quite simple, yet effective considering how low budget the film was. Anyone who finds a possessed knife becomes possessed themselves by the supposed fictitious mountain man who roams the hills in search of a victim. This snowbound backwoods slasher was shot in 1980 in Big Bear, California during Winter. The snowy landscape adds a load of atmosphere that coincides with the score to rank it from pure and utter trash, to watchable trash. There's the possession motive that's not used very much in the backwoods slasher department (although used a little in other sub-genre slasher) unless you consider the very obscure Ghost Dance from 1980- a very obscure title that deals with Indian possession - or - Killer Party and the aforementionedSatan's Blade. You could maybe throw The Forest from 1982 in the trash heap as well.
                                                          
Of course, we all know Mama Vorhees' motive in the originalFriday the 13th. She's a psycho-depressed schizo who takes her vengeance against teenagers who she subconsciously blames for her son (Jason's) death. One group of teenagers were making love while that young boy drowned and now, every teenager making their way to Camp Crystal Lake either don't make it there, or the ones who are already there never leave alive. As mentioned earlier in the post, a majority of backwoods slasher flicks consists of a crazy family in the woods - sometimes cannibals - sometimes just immorally sadistic.

Conclusion: Most backwoods slashers consists basically of the same things. You've got your killer(s) in the woods. You've got your trespassers in the same woods. You have a few defined reasons for the killers doing what they do, although, they really don't need a reason. All backwoods slasher films revolve around the same plot. With all the murder in the woods, I guess staring at trees and shrubbery eventually drives one insane. Evidently, the symptoms include unconventional murder weapons, or some deranged reason behind the murdering of innocent hikers or forestry rangers. Whatever the motive, the backwoods slasher turned summer camps and the good old forest into death traps, distorting everyday ventures into a day of blood and death. In retrospect, after 1980's Friday the 13th (not the first, but did kick start the backwoods slasher craze) the mountains were never the same again. One would actually walk straight ahead without looking over their shoulder every five hundred feet or so. 

The good old Backwoods slasher film sure helped shape horror altogether - being the cornerstone for many sub-par slasher films to come. I should actually refer to 'films' to the word 'movies', as a few shot-on-video backwoods slashers infiltrated the video market - a few even making a memory into the charred minds of horror fans. Cannibal Camp Out comes to mind - Young people in the woods+cannibal+camp out - I'm assuming a group of kids go into the woods to camp out and get cannibalized. Good premise, I guess. In closing, don't go down to the woods today or you're sure of....

In the near future, I'll post my theory on how the little filmDeliverance is the forefather of the backwoods slasher movie. I'll refer to what could very well be one of the absolute first 'formulaic' backwoods slasher flicks. The title is Blood Stalkersfrom 1978. I'll also be discussing the snowbound slasher flick and how it relates the world of horror cinema. Stay tuned and keep the dorm clean!

Humongous 1982

HUMONGOUS starts out during a party in 1946 where a woman is raped by a drunk sex freak who intends to show his victim ''what she's been missing''. One of her male counterparts opens the kennel and her German Shepherd's come to the rescue, tearing the guy to shreds. Sure, he deserved it.

We skip down the road about thirty odd years while Sandy, Eric (David Wallace), Nick (Nick Wild), Carla, and Joy are at the end of their week-end getaway at their father's lake front home. They finish cleaning everything up and enter their father's yacht for the ride back.

As nightfall sets in, the fog rolls and makes way for some hard navigating. They soon see a shot from a flare gun and try and navigate the large boat towards the distress signal. To make a long story short, they hit some rocks after Big brother and Little prick brother fight over who has the bigger dick and Ka-Boom! The boat blows to pieces sending the passengers on board flying off into the water.

Everyone is accounted for except for Carla, but she's found the next day hiding in a boat. In the mean time, some giant bohemeth lurks the island and is quiet hungry. It seems as if his only source of survival (His mother) has died and the little problem of starvation comes into play. The sound of dogs once echoed throughout the island, but now every thing's dead quiet. Did he get hungry?

Humongous. Humongous. What to make of you. Paul Lynch (Prom Night) seems to have forgotten the fact that night scenes need SOME lighting. The night scenes are so dark that it's damn near impossible to tell what's going on. This is a big hindrance to what otherwise could have been a good viewing experience. Don't get me wrong,HUMONGOUS isn't THAT bad, but it's not that damn good either.

There are a few decent stalk and slash sequences and when punk-ass baby brother Nick gets his, it'll make you jump. It's hard to believe the makers of Friday the 13th part 2 didn't sue Lynch for his downright copied and pasted ending that involves our stalked final girl turning her back and pretending to be the killer's mother. She sweet talks him a bit and the rest is the equivalent of taking a shit in a dry toilet. You know you gotta, but you don't wanna.

There's not much to write home about. This venture just proves tho show that Paul Lynch couldn't make a good slasher movie if it bit him in the ass and sang the theme song to My Bloody Valentine to him. I know there's some die hard Prom Night fans reading this, and I seriously don't mean any disrespect, but true is true. It's not that good. Neither is Humongous.

Those damn Canadians are too confusing. If you're in the mood for a violent version of Scooby Doo that's too hard to see, then pick upHUMONGOUS.

The Prowler -aka- Rosemary's Killer

 Joseph Zito 'takes the path of least resistance' and delivers us something of an overrated plodding bug, but, we still mange to love it for all the right reasons. Of course, I'm speaking of Tom Savini's wonderful gore f/x. I guess Tom really did learn something in between fucking.

We start off in the early 40's with a girl named Rosemary who's writing a 'Dear John' letter to her boyfriend who happens to be away at war. Old Rose just can't seem to wait on him anymore and decides to cut his only lifeline, leaving him broken hearted. (Probably hoping he would incidently get caught in one of those 'blitzkriegs")

Well, the war ends. The good old boyfriend evidently survived, and is EXTREMELY angry. While the town holds a 'welcome home' party for the soldiers, 'mad Army man' finds 'backstabbing-bitch-girlfriend', and her 'Fuck him, I'll kill him too' lover making love outside in the dark. Of course, he does the only logical thing and shoves a pitchfork through the both of them.

Thirty-five years later, the same town is holding a party for a bunch of college graduates. I'll bet someone in an Army uniform (probably equipped with a pitchfork) will show up and pretend human bodies are hay.

All this sounds fairly good. And it is, but, it all happens within the first twenty minutes. The remainder of the movie features our two main leads (one who just so happens to be named 'Rosemary'. hmmmm) plod around the area turning up clues as to who stalking the place. It really never elevates itself throughout the whole running time. It's kind of like a pair of pants that come half way down on your ass....you keep pulling them up, but they fall right back down, until eventually, they're around your ankles and everyone sees those zits on your ass. 'The Prowler' is what it is...one big zit that wants to pop, but there's just not enough pus in the corral to create the pressure.

All isn't lost. As I mentioned earlier, the f/x by Tom Savini are great. I wanted to like 'The Prowler' more than I do at this point. It has a sub-level of tension that barely allows you to stay awake through the film. It's painfully obvious who the killer is. Nevertheless, 'The Prowler' is one of those must see flicks if you're a fan of 70's-80's slashers. It's essential viewing. I think a lot of people have glamorized 'The Prowler' due to the special f/x - and the fact that it made the infamous Video Nasties list in the UK. Joseph Zito gave us a little more oomph with Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter in 1984, however.

                                                           

Satan's Blade 1984

                                                     
Satan's Blade is one of those rare slasher films from the 80's stockpile that somehow has survived for nearly thirty years on old dusty video shelves, basements and attic alike. It's staying power leads me to believe that the possessed knife that once belonged to 'The Mountain Man' in the film had somehow seeped through the celluloid and invaded my body.

What we have here is an attempt that is a surprise. I remember renting this title at a ma and pa video store in the next town on a whim from a review on the slasher film site Hysteria-Lives. What I got was a very depressing film with no hope for any of the characters. This is hammered in stoned by a very creepy and moody synth/piano score that was redundant, but atmospheric alongside the snowy landscape.

A bank robbery goes bad. Two bank tellers are killed and a double cross gets deadly. We end up at a wintry lodge where the owners tell of the legend of 'The Mountain Man' - A man who was pushed further on the mountain due to progress. He went insane and the rest is pretty much slasher history. Anyone who befalls the knife becomes possessed and kills in cold blood. Oh yeah, the renters are a bunch of young horny ladies and they are not at all weary about staying in a cabin where two people were murdered the night before.  
                                                  
 Two couples rent the one next door and what we have is a brutal killer in a snowy wonderland wrapped up in about as much atmosphere as you can take. Sad. Somber. Depressive. Downbeat. But it all works here because it's a true blue slasher film with bad acting, bad camera work and everything else that goes alongside filmmaking that screams for help while very few people listen.
                                                    
The murder scenes don't cut away after a brutal kill as in some other 'more famous' slasher films. The victims writhe in agony and pain, with what seems to be general fear. The killer wears gloves which might be a nod to the Italians and their lovable giallos, but whatever the case, the kill scenes rank up there with even the best. As minimal as they were, they worked on a darker level that most slasher films can't seem to grasp. I guess it could be because of the somber tones...or the droning piano score that repeats this depressing onslaught to you ears. Either way, for the slasher fan, this is a must see.

Posted some horror related interviews

Just added a few old interviews I did with some B-movie actors. They were/are posted on Hysteria-Lives! by the owner (Justin Kerswell) under my old username "Lunchmeat".. I need to give Justin a visit again at the forums sometime.

Slasher Caption part 1 (The Prey 1984)

"Oh shit. Toilet paper."