Relative Fear 1994

                                                      

Relative Fear should have been more than it is.(Those whacky Canadians) The potential for this film was there, but I don't think there was enough time for director George Mihalka (My Bloody Valentine) to do what he needed to do. Either that, or it was edited to shreds.

An insane woman has a baby that immediately is taken away from her by the state. At the same time the Pratman family nurse their newbord baby in the hospital room as crazy asthmatic grandpa and eccentric grandma come to gawk.

Peter Pratman is quiet the geek. The mother, Linda Pratman is an aspiring pianist and all seems well. We go down the road about four years and we find out that Adam Pratman is autistic. The boy doesn't speak a word. They hire a tudor who claims to have experience in dealing with austistic children, with a seemingly good track record. Accidents seem to follow little Adam around as crazy asthmatic grandpa is suffocated when someone pulls the hose from his oxygen machine. Grandma is killed when a dumbwaiter falls full speed downward, crushing her head to a pulp. One of Adam's little friends gets shot in the head when the the little tyke decides to show Adam his new gun. It just so happened to be the same little boy who makes Adam eat dirt.

Anyway, natch, it looks bad on little Adam, but it's not long before a police detective suspects the father as he was the one who found all the bodies. After harrassing the family a bit, the detective gets itchy and decides to make his way over to the Pratman house unannounced. Everyone's outside, but Adam lets him in. The cop searches around the house, but soon steps on some strategically placed toys and breaks his neck in a very unconvincing stair roll. James Brolin should have went out better than that.

Nevertheless, aside from Brolin's untriumphant death, we're in for quiet the surprise when it's found out Adam was switched at birth and is the son of the crazy woman we see popping him out at the beginning.

The twist ending really hits you hard and your left with that wtf? feeling. A relatively good movie that could and should have been more. The only reason I picked it up in the first place was because it was a buck, secondly, it was directed by the same director who did my favorite slasher flick of all time.

Little Adam stole the show. The casting people deserve some props here. A creepy little fart. There was something disturbing about him and those dull brown eyes.

Am I glad I spent that buck? Sure. A movie that would be good on a lazy Sunday evening.

Satan's Blade 1984 rare horror trailer

More interviews coming.

More interview coming from the cast of the obscure snowbound slasher Satan's Blade.

The Dorm That Dripped Blood 1982

                                               



Morgan Meadows Hall, an isolated seven story dormitory stands empty. Corridors that were once filled with the vibrant sound of co-eds having sex and puking all over the place is now vacant - on the verge of being torn down. No more wild parties. No more keg stands and such. Five college students volunteer to close the dorm during the Christmas season. Soon, however, out of the dark recesses of the quiet building emerges a haunting and lethal menace. Mysteriously, all phone lines are cut and the students are plunged into the darkness of a powerless and increasingly frenzied gloom. In a series of grizzly murders by and unknown specter, the students begin to disappear. Did David Copperfield kidnap them and throw them off a train?

As the murder mounts and the high-pitched staccato of slaying continues, the remaining students realize their up against a killer who'll eventually kill them with a spoon or something. The dark halls of the dorm now hide the killers identity. Once the object of nostalgic affection, Morgan Meadows Hall has been hideously transformed into the most suffocating nightmare imaginable. Well, not to unimaginable. Is that a paradox? Right off the bat, bad news prevails as I this little 'hider-in-the-cranny' is directed by two people. Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter are the biggest attention cravers on the face of the earth. Everything was evidently construed from the wonderful and articulate minds of these two people as their names are all over the back of the box, as well as the opening and closing credits. By God they wanted us to know they were a part of this film and was going to make damn sure we knew it.
The Dorm That Dripped Blood was an attempt by two guys who thought they could make a few bucks off the slasher craze started by 'Halloween' and 'Friday the 13th'. Did they succeed? Well, if you like terrible movies you'll love it. TDTDB delivers in many departments even tho some things are hard to see because of bad lighting. I'm sure either Carpenter or Obrow was responsible for being the DP, but decided to actually not use their name for a credit, pawning off the horrendous lighting job on some other poor soul. How generous of them.

Nevertheless, we start off with a guy who's running away from someone or something. He hides behind some bushes and thinks he's home free. Wrong. Someone jumps from out of nowhere and slices his hand in two. This scene has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie, but it's very welcomed, nevertheless.We are soon taken to an old dormitory (Morgan Meadows Hall) where Joanne, Craig, Patty, and Brian are doing their best to take inventory of everything in the dorm and sell it. Debbie (A youngDaphne Zuniga) eventually gives the crew the news that she's not going to be able to stay for the whole two weeks and that her parents were on the way to pick her up.

Debbie's parents soon get murdered - Her mother choked to death by a wire from the backseat of the car - Her father whacked repeatedly in the head with a baseball bat with barbed-wire wrapped around it. Debbie comes to the parking lot to meet them, finds their bodies, faints, and eventually gets ran over repeatedly by this unknown specter. Anyway, there's the usual crap dialog - Patty likes Brian, but Joanne likes him too. But Joanne also has a boyfriend. Is he the murderous -jealous type? There's a small hint of a love triangle in the making, but it never takes shape.

A couple days down the road, Joanne is out back at the dump checking on 'inventory items' and meets up with a 'junkster' named Bobby Lee Tremble. He takes a liking to Joanne and talks her into taking a check for his junk purchases. Somehow, Bobby Lee acquires Joannes dorm number and gives her a call late one night. He wants the two of them to get together for a beer, but she turns him down. He and his hard dick decide to take a drive. If this isn't enough, we have a homeless balding, fuzzy-headed freak running around using the dormitory as shelter. After a few encounters with 'Hemmitt the Hermit', weird things start to happen. A buffet table gets smashed - Food gets stolen - The lights go out - The phone lines get cut - Is HE responsible? We do have SOME decent acting, even though the lead, Laura Lapinski, looks like a piece of cardboard taped to a stick that a puppeteer from the rafters was controlling. We also have some good slasher action going on in the form of drills, Groen pressure cookers, cars, baseball bats wrapped in barbed wire, the good old-fashioned butchers knife and even an incinerator. There's also a very good score that adds a little bit of eeriness to the film that it normally wouldn't have had. There's a couple good point of view shots, but nothing to write home about.

Graduation Day 1981 (silly slasher motives part 1)

                                                                          
Boo Hoo Hoo! 'The coach pushed sweetheart too hard during the big track meet and was solely responsible for the heart attack that lead to her sudden death. She fell limp right on the track, but the coach was just screaming at her to run faster just a second before her death. The only logical thing to do is don a fencing outfit and kill the whole track team, the coach, or whoever else steps in my way.. All his yelling at her by the coach.... all his screaming...she just couldn't catch a break...and now, look at her. She's dead. My trusty stopwatch will keep the correct time as I hold it in one hand and kill with the other. I'll set up some good murder scenes so the audience won't get too bored in between all the bullshit. I'll replace the mat under the pole vaulter with sharp spikes. I'll tweak a football, placing a sharp steel rod on one end, and throw it at my victim in a glorious Dan Marino-like pass, piercing the receiver's poor chest. He should keep his eye on the ball, that's for sure.'

The above could very well have been the diary of poor distraught 'Kevin' ( E. Danny Murphy) From Graduation Day.(1981). The overbearing coach (Chris George) likes to be on top. He hates losing. He pushes his star track runner Laura (Ruth Llorens) a little harder than the rest which ends up in Laura having a heart attack after pushing herself too hard. In the final reveal, Kevin gives that glorious final speech involving the reason why he chose to do what he did. He places the blame on an overbearing coach and clamoring fans.The final girl (which is a tough bitch from the Navy- Laura's sister Anne) stands there and listens attentively, waiting for that moment to escape.

Graduation Day. What to make of it? To be totally honest, it's not one of my favorites, but I do like it a little better with each viewing. During the skating rink scene, the band (Felony) seem to play the same song for at least five or six minutes. The lead singer's voice got more irritating than Ozzy Osbourne's after listening to his vocals for hours at a time, but only Felony can make you feel this way after five minutes. That's a feat all in itself. I can usually give any song the benefit of a doubt, but I doubt Felony will care either way.

While an all out revenge slasher in the same ball park as The Dorm That Dripped Blood, Friday the 13th, Blood Hook, and Class Reunion Massacre, Graduation Day can incidentally fall into the 'desperation murder' scenario as well. Kevin is one distraught mofo. In his demented mind, everyone had to die. Someone had to be punished for the death of his high school sweetheart. It's made clear that they were even going to become married after the graduation. Since everyone was going unpunished, Kevin brought it upon himself to play judge, jury, and executioner. I'd say he did a pretty good job of it. Nevertheless, this little revenge slasher flick has a lot of fans, but I'm just not in that category. The motive wasn't a legitimate reason to murder six or eight people when you think about it. Sure, the coach pushed the kids a little too hard. He certainly didn't anticipate his star runner keeling over from a heart attack during her senior year in high school. What coach doesn't push his players to the limit?Graduation Day is basically a haven for showing off creative death sequences. There's certainly a few odd-ball death's, but it's nothing that hasn't been outdone by other low-budget horror films.

Kevin: He's an odd duck.He's a teenager who resembles a forty year old street bum-alcoholic - Kevin Badger, the cause for so many creative kills and much murderous mayhem, but was it worth it just because your girlfriend had a heart attack? So, this is your silly motive #1.: Boyfriend kills the whole track team (including the coach) because his girlfriend had a heart attack.

Psychological Phone Murder (multi-parter)

Ring, Ring!' The girl cringes with a grim look of uneasiness as she turns, the close-up of the ringing telephone giving off an ominous vibe as if it were alive. Or worse, she picks up the receiver only to realize that the killer has severed the phone lines.The telephone has played a pivotal role in the formulaic structure of the modern day slasher movie and has helped create its own sub-genre that I like to call 'Psychological Phone Murder'. It's not a very elegant title, but it fits nicely when you think that some of the best slasher films to date somehow revolve around the telephone. Theodore Gershuny's 1974 Canadian sleeper Silent Night Bloody Night deals with an escaped mental patient who travels back to his old abode and uses his telephone to lure unsuspecting victims to the house so he can kill them. Silent Night Bloody Night uses some very dark themes, which are etched forever on a very bad print which somehow elevates the mood of the story. The old grainy and washed out look in a lot of cases can boost the atmosphere of the film, somehow adding an extra layer of tension that otherwise wouldn't have been present on a pristine copy. SNBN is probably one of the most depressing films I have ever seen. In this case, it's supposed to be. There's a great deal of hopelessness that emits from the screen and almost sucks the viewer in. This little film has never gotten the credit it deserves. Surprisingly, the majority of its fans also prefer the grain as opposed to an actual good copy of the film. As for the telephone laden killer: He's one creepy fuck. He uses a very subtle voice, almost humble in his tone, but underneath, you can almost hear the sudden burst of madness just ready to be unleashed upon his victims. Silent Night Bloody Nightwas actually filmed in 1972, but not released until the same year as one of the most predominant telephone laden slashers. It's safe to say (but rarely acknowledged that Silent Night Bloody Night did the phone call trick a few years before Bob Clark's Canadian classic.) The most revered of all 'Psychological Phone Murder' slashers (especially by old school fans) was also released in 1974. As I mentioned SNBNwas released a few years before Black Christmas, sitting on the sidelines before someone picked it up. Bob Clark's Black Christmassimply exploited the telephone for everything it was worth which added an extra bit of oomph to the film, but was not experienced by too many people because of its short time at the box office. Black Christmas is probably more popular today then it was 35 years ago. Black Christmas revolves around a sorority house during the holiday season that's being bombarded with obscene phone calls where the girls have finally traded their annoyance in for fear. The killer calls randomly, speaking in distorted and grotesque voices while using perverted language as the girls listen in shock. One of the girls swears it couldn't be just one man since the voices were so altered. The caller is truly scary. Some of the things he says and the demonic way he says them will really make your skin crawl. The phone calls persist throughout the film becoming more disturbing and more revealing as the running time goes on. The backstory involves Jessica - a stern independent college co-ed who ends up pregnant and wants an abortion. Her boyfriend Peter is dead set against it and begins to behave very strangely. At some point in the film, we get the inkling that the phone calls could be coming from non-other than Peter himself. The police finally get involved in the case, trying in vain many times to trace the phone calls. Finally, the telephone company gets a line on the trace and one of the biggest twists in horror cinema history was born. To me, the creepiest thing about the film is not knowing that someone had been in the house the whole time, but at the very end, when Jessica is in bed from shock and exhaustion, and the police are finishing up their case work, over the opening credits and a back-away shot from the sorority house, the telephone rings again. It rings against a silent track, barely audible, but ever so disturbing. Was the killer actually dead? That question was never answered and it makes Black Christmas one of the creepiest flicks of all time. 

Hang in there! Part two is coming up shortly!

Don't Go Down To The Woods Today....

As is probably known to anyone who knows my cinematic tastes, they know full well that the snowbound and back woods slasher film are my personal favorite sub-genres. What I've come to realize is that most backwoods slashers are basically the same: You have the same basic structure - the formulaic teens in the woods trying to overcome a night of terror as some unknown (usually deformed when it comes to backwoods slashers) maniac slashes his way through friends a'many. There's basically two types of woods goers in the modern day slasher film. There's your true outdoors-men ala the characters from the 1983 second tier slasher The Final Terror - The whole crew basically makes a living from working in the woods. It's not necessarily clear what their job duties entail, but it's obvious that most of the crew are right at home in the woods. There's also your campers from 1981'sJust Before Dawn that deal with an excited group of mountain hikers and rock climbers who enjoy nothing more than flaunting through nature on a natural high.There's definitely a buzz kill when a large grizzly man cuts through our happy woods goers like a hot knife through warm butter.

On the other hand, you have your naive, sometimes reluctant venture's into the woods who had obviously rather be somewhere else. The character Alfred from 1981's The Burning comes to mind. Here's a kid ( a strange kid at that) who can't swim, sucks at outdoors type functions and simply dislikes his woody surroundings. Gail from 1984's Mutual of Omaha production The Prey, also rings a bell. Although all of her friends are quite comfortable in the woods, she must be afraid there's going to be a horny chipmunk who's going to see her in her 'caked-on-rouge glory' in the dead of night... Your basic city dweller who's very un-at-home in the woods, especially at night. There's usually at least one prissy type along for the camping trip.

Another formula involved in the early 80's backwoods slasher is the motive. When I say motive I've learned that the motive can be a number of things, so I use the term loosely. The deformed killer simply may not have any morals that could or would detour him from committing murderous and depraved acts. Maybe he/she grew up in the woods all alone and was forced to live off the land without parental supervision. This can be classified under 'desperation murder'. Most backwoods slasher films deal with 'desperation murder', which on it's own, is almost another whole sub-genre. A series of 'desperation murders' can be seen in 1982's,Humongous - A groub of Scooby Doo-esque youths get trapped on an island with a deformed hulk who's incidentally starving. The killer is in desperate need of food and the youths are easy access. One thing I've learned involving the backwoods slasher flick is that the killers are non-discriminatory when it comes to meat.

Maybe the killer(s) fear their way of life may become influenced by outsiders as is made evident by Pa in 1987's Canadian backwoods crazy-family-in-the-woods flick American Gothic. A strange religious family lives on an island without modern amenities. No running water. No electricity. They feel as if modern day technology would only contaminate their family which consists of Ma and Pa and their forty year old 'children' - and anyone threatening their way of life - or who simply do not agree with their lifestyle - are fair game in the murder realm. This could also be classified under 'desperation murder' as in the killer(s) feel they have to eliminate a threat. This can also be seen in 1981's The Final Terror. A deranged mental facility escapee is living in the woods and has adapted quite well to her woodsy surroundings. Her son sees after her and keeps hid the fact that his mother is a deranged psycho who'll kill anyone who threatens her exposure. The pair do everything they can to detour people away from Mill Creek where the son's mother makes her home. The murders committed by the deranged mother is also a 'desperation murder' scenario.

The motive can be way out there, I'm telling ya! In 1984's obscurity entitled Satan's Blade we start off with a bank robbery gone awry when greed steps in the way. Not only this, but the end motive is quite simple, yet effective considering how low budget the film was. Anyone who finds a possessed knife becomes possessed themselves by the supposed fictitious mountain man who roams the hills in search of a victim. This snowbound backwoods slasher was shot in 1980 in Big Bear, California during Winter. The snowy landscape adds a load of atmosphere that coincides with the score to rank it from pure and utter trash, to watchable trash. There's the possession motive that's not used very much in the backwoods slasher department (although used a little in other sub-genre slasher) unless you consider the very obscure Ghost Dance from 1980- a very obscure title that deals with Indian possession - or - Killer Party and the aforementionedSatan's Blade. You could maybe throw The Forest from 1982 in the trash heap as well.
                                                          
Of course, we all know Mama Vorhees' motive in the originalFriday the 13th. She's a psycho-depressed schizo who takes her vengeance against teenagers who she subconsciously blames for her son (Jason's) death. One group of teenagers were making love while that young boy drowned and now, every teenager making their way to Camp Crystal Lake either don't make it there, or the ones who are already there never leave alive. As mentioned earlier in the post, a majority of backwoods slasher flicks consists of a crazy family in the woods - sometimes cannibals - sometimes just immorally sadistic.

Conclusion: Most backwoods slashers consists basically of the same things. You've got your killer(s) in the woods. You've got your trespassers in the same woods. You have a few defined reasons for the killers doing what they do, although, they really don't need a reason. All backwoods slasher films revolve around the same plot. With all the murder in the woods, I guess staring at trees and shrubbery eventually drives one insane. Evidently, the symptoms include unconventional murder weapons, or some deranged reason behind the murdering of innocent hikers or forestry rangers. Whatever the motive, the backwoods slasher turned summer camps and the good old forest into death traps, distorting everyday ventures into a day of blood and death. In retrospect, after 1980's Friday the 13th (not the first, but did kick start the backwoods slasher craze) the mountains were never the same again. One would actually walk straight ahead without looking over their shoulder every five hundred feet or so. 

The good old Backwoods slasher film sure helped shape horror altogether - being the cornerstone for many sub-par slasher films to come. I should actually refer to 'films' to the word 'movies', as a few shot-on-video backwoods slashers infiltrated the video market - a few even making a memory into the charred minds of horror fans. Cannibal Camp Out comes to mind - Young people in the woods+cannibal+camp out - I'm assuming a group of kids go into the woods to camp out and get cannibalized. Good premise, I guess. In closing, don't go down to the woods today or you're sure of....

In the near future, I'll post my theory on how the little filmDeliverance is the forefather of the backwoods slasher movie. I'll refer to what could very well be one of the absolute first 'formulaic' backwoods slasher flicks. The title is Blood Stalkersfrom 1978. I'll also be discussing the snowbound slasher flick and how it relates the world of horror cinema. Stay tuned and keep the dorm clean!

Humongous 1982

HUMONGOUS starts out during a party in 1946 where a woman is raped by a drunk sex freak who intends to show his victim ''what she's been missing''. One of her male counterparts opens the kennel and her German Shepherd's come to the rescue, tearing the guy to shreds. Sure, he deserved it.

We skip down the road about thirty odd years while Sandy, Eric (David Wallace), Nick (Nick Wild), Carla, and Joy are at the end of their week-end getaway at their father's lake front home. They finish cleaning everything up and enter their father's yacht for the ride back.

As nightfall sets in, the fog rolls and makes way for some hard navigating. They soon see a shot from a flare gun and try and navigate the large boat towards the distress signal. To make a long story short, they hit some rocks after Big brother and Little prick brother fight over who has the bigger dick and Ka-Boom! The boat blows to pieces sending the passengers on board flying off into the water.

Everyone is accounted for except for Carla, but she's found the next day hiding in a boat. In the mean time, some giant bohemeth lurks the island and is quiet hungry. It seems as if his only source of survival (His mother) has died and the little problem of starvation comes into play. The sound of dogs once echoed throughout the island, but now every thing's dead quiet. Did he get hungry?

Humongous. Humongous. What to make of you. Paul Lynch (Prom Night) seems to have forgotten the fact that night scenes need SOME lighting. The night scenes are so dark that it's damn near impossible to tell what's going on. This is a big hindrance to what otherwise could have been a good viewing experience. Don't get me wrong,HUMONGOUS isn't THAT bad, but it's not that damn good either.

There are a few decent stalk and slash sequences and when punk-ass baby brother Nick gets his, it'll make you jump. It's hard to believe the makers of Friday the 13th part 2 didn't sue Lynch for his downright copied and pasted ending that involves our stalked final girl turning her back and pretending to be the killer's mother. She sweet talks him a bit and the rest is the equivalent of taking a shit in a dry toilet. You know you gotta, but you don't wanna.

There's not much to write home about. This venture just proves tho show that Paul Lynch couldn't make a good slasher movie if it bit him in the ass and sang the theme song to My Bloody Valentine to him. I know there's some die hard Prom Night fans reading this, and I seriously don't mean any disrespect, but true is true. It's not that good. Neither is Humongous.

Those damn Canadians are too confusing. If you're in the mood for a violent version of Scooby Doo that's too hard to see, then pick upHUMONGOUS.

The Prowler -aka- Rosemary's Killer

 Joseph Zito 'takes the path of least resistance' and delivers us something of an overrated plodding bug, but, we still mange to love it for all the right reasons. Of course, I'm speaking of Tom Savini's wonderful gore f/x. I guess Tom really did learn something in between fucking.

We start off in the early 40's with a girl named Rosemary who's writing a 'Dear John' letter to her boyfriend who happens to be away at war. Old Rose just can't seem to wait on him anymore and decides to cut his only lifeline, leaving him broken hearted. (Probably hoping he would incidently get caught in one of those 'blitzkriegs")

Well, the war ends. The good old boyfriend evidently survived, and is EXTREMELY angry. While the town holds a 'welcome home' party for the soldiers, 'mad Army man' finds 'backstabbing-bitch-girlfriend', and her 'Fuck him, I'll kill him too' lover making love outside in the dark. Of course, he does the only logical thing and shoves a pitchfork through the both of them.

Thirty-five years later, the same town is holding a party for a bunch of college graduates. I'll bet someone in an Army uniform (probably equipped with a pitchfork) will show up and pretend human bodies are hay.

All this sounds fairly good. And it is, but, it all happens within the first twenty minutes. The remainder of the movie features our two main leads (one who just so happens to be named 'Rosemary'. hmmmm) plod around the area turning up clues as to who stalking the place. It really never elevates itself throughout the whole running time. It's kind of like a pair of pants that come half way down on your ass....you keep pulling them up, but they fall right back down, until eventually, they're around your ankles and everyone sees those zits on your ass. 'The Prowler' is what it is...one big zit that wants to pop, but there's just not enough pus in the corral to create the pressure.

All isn't lost. As I mentioned earlier, the f/x by Tom Savini are great. I wanted to like 'The Prowler' more than I do at this point. It has a sub-level of tension that barely allows you to stay awake through the film. It's painfully obvious who the killer is. Nevertheless, 'The Prowler' is one of those must see flicks if you're a fan of 70's-80's slashers. It's essential viewing. I think a lot of people have glamorized 'The Prowler' due to the special f/x - and the fact that it made the infamous Video Nasties list in the UK. Joseph Zito gave us a little more oomph with Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter in 1984, however.

                                                           

Satan's Blade 1984

                                                     
Satan's Blade is one of those rare slasher films from the 80's stockpile that somehow has survived for nearly thirty years on old dusty video shelves, basements and attic alike. It's staying power leads me to believe that the possessed knife that once belonged to 'The Mountain Man' in the film had somehow seeped through the celluloid and invaded my body.

What we have here is an attempt that is a surprise. I remember renting this title at a ma and pa video store in the next town on a whim from a review on the slasher film site Hysteria-Lives. What I got was a very depressing film with no hope for any of the characters. This is hammered in stoned by a very creepy and moody synth/piano score that was redundant, but atmospheric alongside the snowy landscape.

A bank robbery goes bad. Two bank tellers are killed and a double cross gets deadly. We end up at a wintry lodge where the owners tell of the legend of 'The Mountain Man' - A man who was pushed further on the mountain due to progress. He went insane and the rest is pretty much slasher history. Anyone who befalls the knife becomes possessed and kills in cold blood. Oh yeah, the renters are a bunch of young horny ladies and they are not at all weary about staying in a cabin where two people were murdered the night before.  
                                                  
 Two couples rent the one next door and what we have is a brutal killer in a snowy wonderland wrapped up in about as much atmosphere as you can take. Sad. Somber. Depressive. Downbeat. But it all works here because it's a true blue slasher film with bad acting, bad camera work and everything else that goes alongside filmmaking that screams for help while very few people listen.
                                                    
The murder scenes don't cut away after a brutal kill as in some other 'more famous' slasher films. The victims writhe in agony and pain, with what seems to be general fear. The killer wears gloves which might be a nod to the Italians and their lovable giallos, but whatever the case, the kill scenes rank up there with even the best. As minimal as they were, they worked on a darker level that most slasher films can't seem to grasp. I guess it could be because of the somber tones...or the droning piano score that repeats this depressing onslaught to you ears. Either way, for the slasher fan, this is a must see.

Posted some horror related interviews

Just added a few old interviews I did with some B-movie actors. They were/are posted on Hysteria-Lives! by the owner (Justin Kerswell) under my old username "Lunchmeat".. I need to give Justin a visit again at the forums sometime.

Slasher Caption part 1 (The Prey 1984)

"Oh shit. Toilet paper."

Slasher Caption part 2 (The Dorm That Dripped Blood 1982)

"Gimme an D! Gimme a E! Gimme a A! Gimme a D! What does that spell?"


"I finally passed that kidney stone."


"I'm gonna lie down. I have a tummy ache"

 
The janitor has a tummy ache. 

Keith Richards Could Have Been Orville

Above is the headshot Keith Richards' managers sent to Bob Clark in 1971 for the role of Orville 'the zombie' in Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things.

The Unborn 1991

Brad and Virginia (Brooke Adams) will do anything to have a baby. When a renowned infertility specialist, Dr. Meyerling (played byJames Karen of ROTLD fame) finally helps them conceive, they think their troubles are behind them. The husband can finally relax and tell his friends he indeed isn't a blank-shooter, but a loaded .44 magnum instead. Well, maybe a .25 automatic.

Plagued by a variety of strange symptoms as her pregnancy progresses, Virginia learns that Dr. Myerling isn't an obstetrician; he's a genetic engineer. And he's now determined to 'breed' bigger, stronger, smarter babies. If it wasn't for breeding 'smarter' babies, I'd almost swear that Dr Myerling made Arnold Schwarzenegger - but Dr. Jack Kevorkian takes all the credit for that mess.

Virginia's desperate search for answers leads to the shocking revelation that not only isn't the baby hers, it's not human. It actually belongs to Micky Rourke.

In the tradition of the It's Alive! films and others like Rosemary's Baby, we have a carnivorous baby which ultimately eats its way from its mother's womb. The mother also suffers from severe symptoms during pregnancy and takes on a number of moody personalities.

The Unborn is your typical late 80's early 90's 'horror' flick. It does have a number of good scenes, but it could have done a little more. But, not only were some scenes downright disturbing, the film as a whole has a very uneasy atmosphere that helped me stay the course.

I'm not a true fan of films like this, but The Unborn did manage to keep my interest even tho I've seen the same thing a dozen times before. I also liked seeing James Karen in another serious role. I've always been a big fan of Karen and seeing his name on the box is the main reason I picked it up. He's the ONLY reason to watch Tobe Hooper's Invaders From Mars btw.


While definitely not one of best films ever, it's certainly not a bad one. In fact, it's well worth the buck rental. The director (Rodman Flender) did a good job with the visuals. The DP also did a good job Did it leave a lasting impression on me? Well, yes and no. A scene that involves Virginia picking her disposed creature-baby out of the local dumpster in a sudden turn of guilt after her underground abortion stuck with me. Not only this, but there's the opening scene that involves a pregnant woman seemingly eating bloody meat from the fridge in one of those 'I can eat a horse' binges. The husband seems to think all is fine. *It could have been sauce*

To sum it up, The Unborn will keep your head afloat even if it's just enough to breath. For all the blank-shooters out there (I'm not poking fun, I could very well be a blank-shooter myself), don't go to Dr. Myerling. Now, I haven't heard anything on the sequel, but I'll confess - I didn't even know there was a sequel to The Unborn. Hunting it down will give me something to do between griping. It evidently made a little money or there certainly wouldn't have been a sequel. All in all, check it out.

Hider In The House 1989

He sees you. He hears you. He knows you. He lives with you. And you don't even know he's there.

A pre-bugged out Gary Busey is a resident psychopath, (Tom Sykes) in a very strange performance that will ultimately make you pull back the shower curtain before taking a piss. Not really, but I like Busey. I would however hide in the shower if I saw him coming towards me.

After his release from a state institution, Tom finds a cozy new place to call home: a secret place he builds in the attic of the Dryer family home. No, not Fred Dryers family. Hunter would have found him and let Dee Dee have a round or two with him with her golden vibrator.

Sykes definitely knows how to hide. As a child Tom would escape his parents violent outbursts and abuse by hiding in the most remote areas of the house - until he finally gets tired of being burned with cigarettes and torches down the house with them in it.

Now Julie and Phil Dryer (Mimi Rogers who's smokin' and Michael Mckean - better known as Lenny) have a new tenant in their newly built dream house. He's the creak when they think it's the wind. He's the noise they blame for the dad's awful farting problem. He's the rat in the attic.

By setting up an elaborate microphone system in the attic, he's able to hear every word they say. He knows more about the Dryer family than Fred Dryer knows about them. Tom is now part of the house and his obsession with Julie unleashes hidden demons trapped in a mind that's trapped in an attic.

Tom finally makes himself known to Julie after he finds Phil at a restaurant and sets up a plan to have her meet him at the same hotel he uses as a sex place with his mistress. After the fur flies and Phil gets caught in the act, Phil is told to leave. Tom strategically places himself in the middle of a schoolyard fight between Julie's son and some monkey-bar punk. Julie appreciates Tom stepping in and little by little, Tom starts to come around.

Things go a little hazy in Julie's eyes when Tom teaches her son some new defense techniques that involves viciously hurting one's opponent by means of nut blows, knees and elbows. Things are set in stone when finally, Tom shows how screwed up he his by almost refusing to take no for an answer in regards to a date with Julie.

The film as a whole deals loosely with the psychological aspect of a bad upbringing - Almost similar to a 1970's film called Bad Ronald -about a guy who lives in the walls of the house in which new tenants move in) Tom's arms are riddled with scars from cigarette burns. The conclusion of his visits to his shrink have him worried. He's afraid he'll 'loose control' again. The shrink talks nice, but isn't too keen on the notion of having him released. I wouldn't let Gary Busey roam the free world either. His teeth are too big.

What sets this movie off from the rest of the 'I'm crazy because I was abused as a kid' movies is the fact that at heart, Tom is a big old Teddy Bear. He really doesn't want to hurt anyone. His motives are pure in his own mind, but those damned old memories seem to trigger his rough temper. All he wants to do is lead an all American life equipped with a wife and kids. Tom actually is a character to be pitied. I truly never saw him as a villain until the finale.

There's not much slicing and dicing going on, but the movie as a whole has a few slasher undertones. I guess one could classify it as such. I classify Moon Pies as a great breakfast, so I don't really know.

One thing I do know is that a dog, an ill fated exterminator and Julie's friend get killed and buried. Another thing I know is that this movie is quiet entertaining. Busey gives a wonderful performance and really doesn't have to act too much because as we all know, Busey is crazy anyway. Roger's is smoking as usual and reminds me for the world of my beautiful wife.

If you're a fan of psychological horror films as well as slasher films, you can't go wrong. No masterpiece, but no pile of trash either. I'll admit - the scenario is quiet outlandish - Not many people would look over the fact that some crazy man is living in the attic, but it makes way for some good stuff on celluloid. By the way, this is/was a made for television film that debut on the USA network back in the day.

Class reunion Massacre -aka- The Redeemer: Son of Satan (1978)

"This third thumb is great for party gags."


''Teee-Heee. Uhh.... I was just....uh...fooling around with your make up kit."
"Examine your soul. It's to blame for the body's evil ways! It's the soul that pays!" Evidently, The Redeemer was conditioned by an elite group of murdering priests - hellbent on taking matters into their own hands.

A vigilante priest. A religious man fed up with immorality. A man calling himself 'The Redeemer' - Spouting out moralistic rhetoric with clinched fist and sweaty forehead. A killer. A murderer. A man who murders coincidently with their 'evil' deeds MANY years before Kevin Spacey did it in Se7EN.

What am I talking about amidst all the mumbo jumbo? I'm talking about a 1976 proto-slasher that did a lot of this first.

'The Redeemer: Son of Satan!" - which was later released on video as 'Class Reunion Massacre'....

Even before 'Prom Night', this movie depicts some unknown specter cutting up year book pictures of his future victims. He later puts together a faux class reunion in which our soon-to-be's are invited to attend this class reunion at their old high school.

Before all murders start to happen, and before we even go near the school gates, the victims are given some screen time - sort of a teaser of why these people (in The Redeemer's eyes) deserve their impending dooms by his grizzly hands.

A lawyer, a lesbian (gasp!), a vain movie actor, a supposed 'harlot', a woman who likes to shoot pigeons for sport, a glutton - These people comprise the faux class reunion with no clue of their impending doom.

To give a film a review in the state of mind I'm in right now would not constitute fairness, so therefore, I'll shy away from piecing everything together in order. I'll stray from one side of the field to the other and cover a multitude of random scenes that will pretty much tie any loose strings that would otherwise be evident in a full review.

A boy rises from a quarry - fist raised in air as in some triumphant stance. Ok. The same kid (whose clothes dry really fast) soon catches a church bus that takes him to what looks to be a small baptist church.

It just so happens that the kid is a member of the choir, and that a lot of his peers seem to dislike him for some reason. The kid never speaks a word, but endures a bully who confronts him with the dull blade of a knife.

Cut to: Rabid preacher. He's doing his daily fire and brimstoning - while wonderful edits gives us glimpses of the Redeemers sinning six. Most seem like normal people, with one thing in common - They all seem to have problems like everyone else, and are all invited to their tenth year high school reunion.

Upon arriving, there's no cars. No one except our ill fated six.

They quickly catch up on old times and make their way into the school.

What follows is quiet original in regards to the slasher film. It's kind of like a 'Ten Little Indians' rendention, but with a lot of added gloom and doom. They make their way into the cafeteria where an elaborate set up of food, music, and disco balls awaits them. Everyone is wondering where all their ex classmates are, but the glutton is mezmerized by all the food - "Who cares! Let's eat!"

He grubs his greasy little hands into the banquet, testing out everything from whipped cream to oysters. Wondering why no one has arrived, John the lawyer tries to call the owner of the seemingly abandoned school. There just so happens to be a pay phone that actually works. He reaches the operator, but then the lines go dead.

They make their way back to the cafeteria where everyone is having a seemingly good time. 'The Harlot' wants to go outside for some reason. She tries to find the janitor who let them in before. (which was actually the redeemer in disguise. He just so happened to kill the real janitor and place is body face first on a desk.)

They finally catch on that the real janitor is dead when they find him with maggots coming from his gunshot wound.Everything comes together when they realize they're locked inside the old school with no way out. One can guess what happens next.

Or crazed preacher roams the school, killing each of the remaining victims in disguises that fit their supposed immorality. A clowns mask for the supposed make-up wearing harlot. A suit and tie for the lawyer - sporting a gun. A made up thespian on the schools stage for our conceited actor that involves a large sword through the head. A hunters uniform and a shotgun for our woman who likes to kill live birds. The glutton gets fried (or baked) like all the junk he stuffs down his throat. We don't get to see what happens to the lesbian. I guess he brutalized that carpet munching lezzi so much that the censors wouldn't allow it. Who knows.


One things for sure, you'll never see another movie quiet like 'Class Reunion Massacre'. An errie feel throughout the whole movie keeps one on the edge, not knowing what's going to happen next - Gloom and doom by the truck load - A sinnister haze seems to infiltrate the viewing space.

This particular film did a lot of things first. It deserves more credit than it got, and I'm happy to see that there's an upcoming dvd release of this with loads of features. (Maybe)

I've actually spoken with TG Finkbinder (The Redeemer) many times, conducting two interviews along the way.  I'll post the latter in the near future.

In a nutshell, this is one of the better slashers ever made. I think the whole immorality tale turns people away. Many, after finally watching it a few times more, find it to be an absolutely wonderful little slasher. You will too.

Critters Box Set

Critters Box Set. Released in HUNGARY. Region 2.

When there's no more thread in Hell...

Roger & Nurse Zombie

Coincidence By The Cemetery

I was watching Joyride the other day. (Paul Walker) I noticed that he and his brother's name are Lewis and Fuller. I never really paid any attention to this, but Louis Fuller was Lucio Fulci's American pseudonym. I thought that was a very cool hat tip to the Godfather of Gore. A lot of people haven't noticed this. The people who I've mentioned this to seem to think it's a coincidence.

The Godfather of Gore (Lucio Fulci) in Action

Below are some rare pictures of Lucio Fulci on the job. They were given to me by his daughter (Antonella). I did an extensive interview with her back in 2003, and these are the pictures she sent to go along with the interview. They were, however, placed on a defunct website and another blog I once attempted. I doubt that they've been seen by many people. Some GREAT pictures of the Godfather of Gore in his hey-day.

Look for excerpts (or maybe the whole thing) of the interview with Lucio's daughter. She's one generous lady. I'm an idiot, so I forgot to ask her from what film these were taken.

The Baby Sitter (1979)

A crazy girl weasels herself inside a family home and ruins it from the inside out.


A mysterious, enchanting girl named Joanna manipulates the Benedict family to the very edge of dysfunctional family-ism. Hired as a house maid after an elaborate set-up in which Mrs. Benedict (Patty duke) nearly runs over her, the babysitter, Joanne, gains the respect and devotion of the family by her efficiency, understanding, and sympathy.

The suspicious neighbor endeavors to uncover Joanna's closely guarded past but not before his grandson (The blond guy from 'HUMONGOUS' - David Wallace) is drowned while on a boat trip with Joanna.

The neighbor uncovers the disturbing truth about Joanna just in time to save the Benedict family from a hideous fate. This mystery-suspense thriller delivers the goods in some departments - especially William Shatner overacting to the point to where you think he's going to go into the bathroom and change outfits - coming back in a 1960's spandex space costume.

What to think of this film? Released for television back in 1979, the producers were obviously trying to cash in on the slasher craze that befuddled the world around that golden era. Instead of going to the big screen, the film gave even the most wholesome family a taste of slasher-goodness that they normally wouldn't have been exposed to.

When I say slasher, I DO use the term loosely. Basically, there's no slashing going on, but it teeters on the fence - almost stepping on slasher-grounded territory a time or two - especially during our climax where there's a stalking with a butcher's knife. There's also a few other little surprises that just so happen to be lying under large sheets of plastic. Is it dusty furniture?

Even the most jaded fan will find something about this little made for television flick to talk about. It may not make discussion at the dinner table, but it has that cold Seattle feel to it that leaves an impression on you. Washington State is the American equivalent as Canada, btw. Feck you too!

There's a great fish bashing scene that gives us a close-up of Joanna's beautiful, but disgruntled face as she whacks a catfish in the head more times than normal. I'm not sure of the 'normal' amount of times one is supposed to whack a catfish over the head, but who's counting anyway? BTW, this movie was produced by the same people who produced 'Cannibal Holocaust'. Of course, I'm only kidding.

The bottom line is that this movie is very watchable - even for the die-hard slasher/horror fan. If nothing else, watch it for a confused William Shatner.